Urbanisation in Four Asian Countries (1970–2040)

动态类 折线图（4 条线 + 历史 + 预测） 修改日期：2026-04-24

原文评分
5.0
修改后评分
7.0
评分维度修改前修改后变化说明
Task Achievement (TA) 5.0 7.0 +2.0 修复 Overview 中 "population" 事实性错误（图表主题为 urbanisation rate）；修正 2040 Malaysia 数据（nearly 90% → over 80%）；起止段呼应完整（In 1970 ↔ By the end of the period）；用户提及的所有排名变化节点（1992/2000/2010）全部准确保留。
Coherence and Cohesion (CC) 5.5 7.0 +1.5 用 Over the following decades / By the end of the period / although 替代口语化衔接；段内逻辑推进清晰（时间轴 → 排名变化 → 最终格局）。
Lexical Resource (LR) 5.0 7.0 +2.0 统一使用 the figure for X / urbanisation rate / projected to / approximately / peak / surpassed / plateau 等折线图高频高分词汇；消除 population 主题词偏差；与 2026-04-13 Shop Closures 折线图模板保持词汇风格一致。
Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA) 5.0 7.5 +2.5 零语法错误；使用破折号嵌入同位语、with 从属结构、分词短语、although 让步状语从句等多种句式；系统性修复全部冠词错误、时态错误、介词错误。

题目原文：The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in 4 Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Percentage of the population living in cities (Philippines, Malaysia, Thailand, Indonesia)

The line chart illustrates and predicts the proportion of urban residents in four Asian countries, including the Philippines, Malaysia, Thailand, and Indonesia, between 1970 and 2040.

26 words

Overall, it is clear that all four nations figures increased considerably over the 70-year period, while figures for the Philippines show the most fluctuations. Notably, the Malaysia had the largest population for most of the period.

37 words

Firstly, all the four countries had the smallest percentages of population in 1970 and will be projected to reach their highest number in 2040. However, in the next 40 years, the urban population percentage in Philippines fluctuated, until in 1992 when Malaysia secondly surpassed the Philippines at about 48% and maintained its top ranking. Over time, the figures for Indonesia rose steadily, overtaking Thailand in 2000 and Philippines in 2010, becoming the second-highest, just below the Malaysia. Thailand's population grew fast at first, then reached a plateau from 1990 to 2020, while this country was expected to have a rapid increase after 2020 to 2040.

105 words

In 1970, Philippines was the most urbanized country for either nations, with just over 30% of its population living in urban areas. This was followed by Malaysia (30%), Thailand (18%), and Indonesia (13%). Although the figures are noticeable fluctuate during 1970 to 2010, from 2010 to 2040, no further ranking changes are predicted for them. Malaysia is expected to have the largest proportion of people living in cities, nearly 90%, followed by Indonesia at 60%, Philippines at about 55%, and Thailand at just 50%.

84 words
Total: 252 words

开头段（Introduction / Paraphrase）

The line chart → graph 词汇提升 题目用的是 graph，且 line graph 是折线图固定搭配，与 2026-04-13 Shop Closures 文章保持一致固化模板 illustrates and predicts → （删除） 词汇提升 下文 "with projections provided for 2030 and 2040" 已表达预测含义，前置 "and predicts" 属于语义冗余 the proportion of urban residents in four Asian countries , including → — 词汇提升 破折号嵌入同位语比 "including" 更紧凑；including 暗示"不限于此四国"，与实际四国定量不符, the Philippines, Malaysia, Thailand, and Indonesia , → — 词汇提升 与前文破折号形成对称 between 1970 and 2040, with projections provided for 2030 and 2040 内容补充 题目明确指出 "predictions for 2030 and 2040"，在开头段改述时应保留"预测"这一关键信息.
句子提升
改写为："The line graph illustrates the proportion of urban residents in four Asian countries — the Philippines, Malaysia, Thailand, and Indonesia — between 1970 and 2040, with projections provided for 2030 and 2040."
原因：(1) 沿用 2026-04-13 Shop Closures 已固化的 "The line graph illustrates..." 开头模板；(2) 用破折号嵌入四国名称同位语，比 including 更精确；(3) 补充"projections provided for 2030 and 2040"，忠实反映题目中 "predictions" 关键信息；(4) 删除冗余的 and predicts。

概述段（Overview）⚠️ 存在事实性错误，需较大幅度修正

⚠️ 本段存在 Task 1 最严重类型的错误——对图表主题的**事实性误读**：原句 "had the largest population" 意为"人口总量最大"，但本图展示的是 "percentage of the population living in cities"（**城市化率**），不是人口总量。这一错误会直接触发 TA 失分。

原文中的具体错误：
"all four nations figures increased" → "the figures for all four nations rose"
缺所有格撇号（应为 nations'）；即使改为 nations'，"X's figures" 不如 "the figures for X" 自然，后者也是折线图的固化搭配
"figures for the Philippines show the most fluctuations" → "the figure for the Philippines fluctuated the most"
① figures 单复数混乱——专指 Philippines 一国应用单数；② "show" 时态不当，上文用过去时 increased，此处应保持过去时 fluctuated；③ "the most fluctuations"（名词搭配）改为 "fluctuated the most"（动词 + 副词）更简洁
"the Malaysia had the largest population" → "Malaysia had the highest urbanisation rate"
① "the Malaysia" 国家名前误加 the；② **严重事实性错误**——图表展示的是城市化率而非人口总量，"largest population" 与图表主题完全不符
"for most of the period" → "for most of the period, establishing a clear lead from around the 1990s onwards"
原表述模糊——Malaysia 在 1970-1980 其实低于 Philippines，直到约 1990 才反超。补充时间锚点使表述精确
句子提升（整段重写）
"Overall, it is clear that the figures for all four nations rose considerably over the 70-year period, while the figure for the Philippines fluctuated the most. Notably, Malaysia had the highest urbanisation rate for most of the period, establishing a clear lead from around the 1990s onwards."
原因：(1) 修复最严重的事实性错误——"largest population"（人口总量）改为 "highest urbanisation rate"（城市化率），与图表主题完全对齐；(2) 保留用户原本识别到的两个关键特征（四国均上涨 + Malaysia 领先），但用更精准语言表达；(3) 用 "the figure for X" 固定搭配替代拗口的 "X figures"，与 2026-04-13 Shop Closures 折线图模板保持一致。

主体段一（Body Paragraph 1）— 时间序列 + 排名变化

Firstly, → （删除） 词汇提升 Firstly / Secondly 在 Task 1 中过于机械，且此处用 Firstly 会让后文 "In 1970" 显得冗余 all the four → all four 语法纠正 all four 是固定搭配，中间不加 the countries had the smallest percentages of population → recorded their lowest urbanisation rates 词汇提升 + 内容修正 ① "the smallest percentages of population" 语义含混；② 改为 urbanisation rates 与 overview 主题词一致；③ "recorded" 比 "had" 更正式地道 in 1970 and will be projected to → are projected to 语法纠正 predictive passive 正确形式是 are projected to；"will be projected" 把"被预测"本身放入未来，逻辑错位——预测动作是当下做的 reach their highest number → peak 词汇提升 peak 既简洁又高级，是专门描述最高点的术语 in → by 语法纠正 by 2040 表示"到 2040 年为止"，更精确，因为预测的是最终到达点 2040.

However, in the next 40 years → Over the following decades 词汇提升 + 内容修正 "in the next 40 years" 时间所指不清——从哪里开始的 40 年？"Over the following decades" 更自然，也与 "In 1970" 形成时间推进, the urban population percentage in Philippines → the Philippines 语法纠正 the Philippines 的冠词 the 是国名本身的一部分，不可省略（类似 the Netherlands / the United States） fluctuated mildly 词汇补充 图中 Philippines 的波动幅度在 4 国中相对温和；补充 mildly 使描述更精准, until in 1992 when Malaysia secondly surpassed → around 1992 when Malaysia surpassed 语法纠正 + 词汇修正 ① "in 1992 when" 介词冗余，until 后直接接时间或副词从句；② "secondly surpassed" 语义不通——secondly 是序数副词"其次"，不能修饰 surpassed；③ 补充 around 表约数 the Philippines at about → approximately 词汇提升 approximately 比 about 更正式，是 Task 1 数据引用的标配，与 2026-04-13 Shop Closures 沿用一致 48% and maintained its top ranking thereafter.

Over time, the figures for Indonesia rose steadily → The figure for Indonesia rose steadily 语法纠正 + 词汇修正 ① "Over time" 过于口语化，且与下文 "overtaking...in 2000 and...in 2010" 的具体时间重复；② figures 复数不当——Indonesia 是单一国家应用单数, overtaking Thailand in around 2000 and Philippines → the Philippines 语法纠正 国家名冠词 in around 2010, becoming the second-highest, just below the Malaysia → Malaysia 语法纠正 country name 前不加 the.

Thailand's population grew fast → Thailand's figure grew rapidly 词汇提升 + 内容修正 ① population 用词错误——图表是城市化率而非人口总量，应为 the figure；② rapidly 比 fast 更正式，是 Task 1 趋势描述高频词 at first, then reached a plateau from 1990 to 2020, while this country was expected to have a rapid increase after 2020 to 2040 → although it is expected to rise rapidly again from 2020 to 2040 语法纠正 + 词汇提升 ① while 改 although——Thailand 先平台后增长是"尽管...但是..."逻辑；② "was expected" 时态错误——预测至今仍有效，应用 is expected；③ "to have a rapid increase" 冗长，改为 "to rise rapidly"；④ "after 2020 to 2040" 介词混乱，正确是 from 2020 to 2040.
句子提升（整段优化）
"In 1970, all four countries recorded their lowest urbanisation rates, and all are projected to reach their peak by 2040. Over the following decades, the urban population percentage in the Philippines fluctuated mildly, until around 1992 when Malaysia surpassed the Philippines at approximately 48% and maintained its top ranking thereafter. The figure for Indonesia rose steadily, overtaking Thailand in around 2000 and the Philippines in around 2010 to become the second-highest, just below Malaysia. Thailand's figure grew rapidly at first and then reached a plateau between 1990 and 2020, although it is expected to rise rapidly again from 2020 to 2040."
原因：(1) 完整保留用户原文所有信息点——1970 起点、1992 Malaysia 反超、Indonesia 两次超越（2000 超 Thailand，2010 超 Philippines）、Thailand 平台期、2020-2040 预测上升；(2) 修复所有国家名冠词和时态错误；(3) 统一使用 "the figure for X" 取代混乱的 figures/population，与折线图固化模板一致。

主体段二（Body Paragraph 2）— 起止排名快照

In 1970, Philippines → the Philippines 语法纠正 国家名冠词 was the most urbanized country for either nations → of the four nations 语法纠正 + 词汇修正 ① either 只用于两者，本题有四国应用 of the four；② for 介词不当，描述 "X is the most ... of Y" 时用 of, with just over 30% of its population living in urban areas. This was followed by Malaysia (30%), Thailand (18%), and Indonesia (13%).

Although the figures are noticeable fluctuate during 1970 to 2010 → Although the figures fluctuated noticeably between 1970 and 2010 语法纠正 + 词汇提升 ① "are noticeable fluctuate" 语法完全错乱——are（系动词） + noticeable（形容词） + fluctuate（动词原形）不可连用；正确是 "fluctuated noticeably"；② 时态应为过去时；③ during + 时间 应改为 between...and..., from 2010 to 2040, no further ranking changes are predicted for them → no further ranking changes are predicted from 2010 to 2040 词汇修正 时间状语后置更自然；"for them" 冗余，主语 ranking changes 已明确指向四国.

By the end of the period, 内容补充 添加时间标志词让下文 2040 数据更有定位感，与前文 "In 1970" 形成起止对应 Malaysia is expected to have the largest proportion of people living in cities at nearly 90% → at over 80% 内容修正（数据准确性） **数据准确性问题**——图表中 Malaysia 2040 约 82%，"nearly 90%" 明显高估；Task 1 要求精确读取数据, followed by Indonesia at 60% → around 60% 词汇提升 添加 around 使数据引用更准确, Philippines → the Philippines 语法纠正 国家名冠词 at about 55%, and Thailand at just 50%.
句子提升（整段优化）
"In 1970, the Philippines was the most urbanised country of the four nations, with just over 30% of its population living in urban areas, followed by Malaysia (30%), Thailand (18%), and Indonesia (13%). Although the figures fluctuated noticeably between 1970 and 2010, no further ranking changes are predicted from 2010 to 2040. By the end of the period, Malaysia is expected to have the largest proportion of people living in cities at over 80%, followed by Indonesia at around 60%, the Philippines at about 55%, and Thailand at just 50%."
原因：(1) 完整保留用户原文所有数据点（1970 四国数值、2040 四国数值、2010-2040 无排名变化）；(2) 修复 "are noticeable fluctuate" 等严重语法错误；(3) 修正数据准确性（nearly 90% → over 80%）；(4) 添加 "By the end of the period" 形成起止段呼应（In 1970 ↔ By the end of the period）；(5) 统一 the Philippines / Malaysia 等国家名冠词使用。

内容与结构建议

建议 1：Overview 核心事实性错误（最严重）
原 Overview 中 "the Malaysia had the largest population for most of the period" 存在两层错误——① "the Malaysia" 国家名前误加 the；② "largest population"（人口总量）与图表主题（"percentage of population living in cities"，即**城市化率**）完全不符。这种对图表主题的误读会直接触发 TA 失分。建议建立"读图前先读图表标题和 Y 轴标签"的固定习惯，确保主题词（此处为 urbanisation rate）贯穿全文。
建议 2：国家名冠词的系统性问题
**the Philippines**（必须带 the）、**Malaysia / Thailand / Indonesia**（不带 the）是本题的国家名使用规则。原文中 "the Philippines" 在 5 处被误写为 "Philippines"，而 "Malaysia" 在 2 处被误写为 "the Malaysia"，规则正好颠倒。背诵口诀：**以 -s 结尾的群岛/联邦国家（the Philippines / the Netherlands / the United States / the United Kingdom）前必须加 the；其他国家名前一般不加 the**。
建议 3：population vs. urbanisation rate 的区分
本图的四条线代表 percentage of the population living in cities，即城市化率（一个比例）。原文多次用 "population" 指代（"had the largest population" / "Thailand's population grew fast"），字面意思是"人口总量"，与图表主题不符。建议使用 "urbanisation rate" 或 "the figure for X"（专指某国该比例），避免主题词偏差。
建议 4：时态混乱（预测 vs. 历史）
本题涉及 1970-2020 历史数据（过去时）和 2030-2040 预测数据（现在时 + 被动），原文 "will be projected to reach" / "was expected to have" 均时态混乱。规则：① 预测动作本身是当下发生的，应用 "are/is projected to" 或 "are/is expected to"；② "was expected" 仅在描述过去某时刻的预期（且该预期已被证伪或已过时）时使用，本题预测至今仍有效，不能用过去时。
建议 5：数据准确性
2040 Malaysia 数值 "nearly 90%" 是明显高估——图表显示 Malaysia 2040 约 82%。Task 1 数据引用需严格对照图表刻度，宁可使用 approximately / over 80% / around 82% 等保守表达，也不要过度拔高数值。

修改统计

14
语法纠正
12
词汇提升
4
句子提升
5
内容建议

本次修改保留了用户"四段式 + 时间推进 + 起止快照"的良好结构，重点完成五方面提升：(1) 修复 Overview 中最严重的事实性错误——"largest population" → "highest urbanisation rate"，使全文主题与图表对齐；(2) 系统性修正国家名冠词（the Philippines 补 the / Malaysia 去 the）；(3) 统一主题词——用 "the figure for X" 替代混乱的 population / figures，与折线图固化模板一致；(4) 修复时态混乱（will be projected → are projected / was expected → is expected）；(5) 数据精确化（nearly 90% → over 80%）。用户原文所有信息点全部保留——1970 起点排名、1992 Malaysia 反超、Indonesia 两次超越、Thailand 平台期后再上升、2040 最终排名均完整呈现。

The line graph illustrates the proportion of urban residents in four Asian countries — the Philippines, Malaysia, Thailand, and Indonesia — between 1970 and 2040, with projections provided for 2030 and 2040.

30 words

Overall, it is clear that the figures for all four nations rose considerably over the 70-year period, while the figure for the Philippines fluctuated the most. Notably, Malaysia had the highest urbanisation rate for most of the period, establishing a clear lead from around the 1990s onwards.

49 words

In 1970, all four countries recorded their lowest urbanisation rates, and all are projected to reach their peak by 2040. Over the following decades, the urban population percentage in the Philippines fluctuated mildly, until around 1992 when Malaysia surpassed the Philippines at approximately 48% and maintained its top ranking thereafter. The figure for Indonesia rose steadily, overtaking Thailand in around 2000 and the Philippines in around 2010 to become the second-highest, just below Malaysia. Thailand's figure grew rapidly at first and then reached a plateau between 1990 and 2020, although it is expected to rise rapidly again from 2020 to 2040.

101 words

In 1970, the Philippines was the most urbanised country of the four nations, with just over 30% of its population living in urban areas, followed by Malaysia (30%), Thailand (18%), and Indonesia (13%). Although the figures fluctuated noticeably between 1970 and 2010, no further ranking changes are predicted from 2010 to 2040. By the end of the period, Malaysia is expected to have the largest proportion of people living in cities at over 80%, followed by Indonesia at around 60%, the Philippines at about 55%, and Thailand at just 50%.

90 words
Total: 270 words
修改后评分：Overall Band Score 7.0 ｜ 说明：原文信息密度高，修改坚持完整保留所有用户信息点（不因字数删减内容）。
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