The most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

评分对比

修改前
5.0
修改后
6.5
提升 +1.5
评分维度修改前修改后变化说明
Task Response5.56.5+1.0立场、论点、论据全部保留;让步段"rather than focus on enhancing..."的平行结构修复使反方观点更清晰;Body 1 论据 2 修复句子碎片后,"蛋白质结构预测"论据完整呈现
Coherence & Cohesion5.56.5+1.0Body 1 论据 1 结尾 "with significantly higher diagnostic accuracy"、Body 2 "As a result... For instance..." 独立拆句,修复两处关键衔接故障;形成 10 层逻辑推进
Lexical Resource5.06.5+1.5话题词升级(life-threatening diseases / diagnostic accuracy / specialised AI models / preserving ecosystems / scientific development);中式直译修复(human beings' living quality → people's quality of life)
Grammatical Range & Accuracy4.57.0+2.5消除主谓不一致 3 处、介词后接原形 1 处、句子碎片 1 处、such as/as well as 误接从句 2 处、让步-转折错配 1 处、冠词与所有格 2 处、拼写 2 处合计 12 处
Overall5.06.5+1.5
The most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

With the boom of AI and tech start up, sweeping changes and significant attention have been drawn to the aim of science advancement in public life. It is often argued that the primary purpose of science is to improve human beings' living quality and overall well-being. From my perspective, I totally agree with this statement, and the following paragraph will elaborate on the reasons for my view.

67 words

Admittedly, opponents argue that because of the increasing problems in environment, such as global warming and water contamination, scientist shoulder huge responsibilities which need them to find effective ways to address all of these issues rather than the current sense of happiness in people's lives. Despite the urgency of these arguments, improving individuals' lives is still the ultimate goal of science. The first compelling reason is that science development play an important role in improve humans' physical well-being. For instance, with artificial intelligence tools that have been used in hospitals, doctors are now able to detect cancer and other terminal incurable diseases at an early stage, as well as the judgment result is even more accurate. Moreover, scientist can use deep-learning as a method to train a special AI robot. who can tirelessly carry out protein structure prediction, thereby uncovering more possibilities for treating complex diseases.

146 words

Another convincing reason for my perspective lies in the improvement of the convenience of life also depends greatly on scientific progress. To be more specific, in recent years, humans' entertainment and work have experienced a huge shift from offline to online. Thus, no one can live without social media and the internet, such as people can use WeChat and Whatsapp to chat with their friend and use TaoBao and Amazon to buy staffs without the restrict of distance. Moreover, the generative AI also reshape the way we write and work. For example, ChatGPT can help us quickly produce an initial draft of a short film script, while Claude can help us rapidly build the code framework for a complex data science model. This greatly improves our efficiency in both work and study.

132 words

In conclusion, even though science sersves as a great tool to deal with issues that are not directly relevant to people's lives, but also creating better ecosystems or even space exploration, I still strongly maintain the view that people's life quality and living conditions remain the primary and finally aim of developing science.

53 words
Total: 约 398 words

开头段(Introduction)

背景引入句

With the boom of AI and tech start uptech startups 语法纠正词汇 (①startup 作名词是一个单词,不可拆分为 "start up";②泛指整个创业行业用复数 startups), sweeping changes and(删除) 词汇精简 (原句中 "sweeping changes" 与 "have been drawn" 搭配不通——"changes" 无法被 "drawn",只有 "attention" 可以被 "drawn to";删除 "sweeping changes and" 使主语单一化,避免主谓搭配错误) significant attention havehas 语法纠正 (删除前置主语 "sweeping changes and" 后,主语变为单数 "attention",谓语应相应改为 has been drawn) been drawn to the aim of science advancementthe role of science 词汇提升 (原句 "the aim of science advancement" 措辞累赘且指向模糊;"the role of science" 更简洁、更聚焦"科学在公共生活中的作用"这一话题枢纽) in public life.

现象陈述句(题型3 首段模板——保留并继续沿用)

It is often argued that the primary purpose of science is to improve human beings' living qualitypeople's quality of life 词汇提升 ("living quality" 是中式直译→"quality of life" 才是地道的固定搭配;"human beings'" 过于冗长,"people's" 更简洁) and overall well-being.
保留说明:"It is often argued that..." 是用户从 2026-03-21 Saving Money 篇正确固化的题型3首段模板开头保留并继续沿用——这是用户已稳定的题型3开头句模板。

立场/观点表态句(题型3 模板——保留并继续沿用)

From my perspective, I totallyfully 词汇提升 ("totally agree" 略带口语色彩→"fully agree" 是学术写作的标准表达,与 Saving Money 篇固化模板 "I fully agree with this statement" 完全一致) agree with this statement, and the following paragraphthe following essay 词汇提升 ("paragraph" 指一段;后文有两段主体段+结尾段,应用 "essay" 指整篇文章;与 Saving Money 模板 "the following essay will elaborate on the reasons for my view" 完全一致) will elaborate on the reasons for my view.
保留说明:"From my perspective, I fully agree with this statement, and the following essay will elaborate on the reasons for my view" 是题型3 表态句标准模板(与 2026-03-21 Saving Money 完全对齐),保留并继续沿用——这是用户应该在所有题型3 文章中一致使用的模板句。

主体段一(Body Paragraph 1)— 让步反驳 + 科学提升人类身体健康

让步引入句

Admittedly, opponents argue that because of the increasing problems in environment,, given the increasing environmental problems 语法纠正词汇提升 (①"problems in environment" 是中式直译——environmental 作形容词直接修饰 problems 才地道;②"given" 作介词引出让步前提,比 "because of" 更学术;③后续紧接 "such as global warming..." 列举,无需在前重复 "problems in environment",结构更紧凑) such as global warming and water contamination, scientist shoulder huge responsibilities which need themscientists shoulder a huge responsibility 语法纠正词汇提升 (①scientist 单数缺 -s——主谓一致需复数 scientists;②"huge responsibilities which need them to find" 中 "which need them to" 完全赘余——直接用不定式 to find 表目的;③responsibility 改为单数(一种集体的责任),与后面 a 配合) to find effective ways to address all of(删除) 词汇精简 (all of 冗余——these issues 已隐含全部,无需 all of 累赘) these issues rather than the current sense of happiness in people's livesfocus on enhancing the everyday happiness of individuals 语法纠正词汇提升 (①原文 "rather than" 后接名词短语 "the current sense",与前面动词 "find" 形成平行结构断裂——补齐 "focus on" 动词短语与 "find" 形成动词平行;②"the current sense of happiness in people's lives" 措辞拗口——改为 "the everyday happiness of individuals" 更地道,且"日常的"比"当下的感受"更聚焦).

让步转折句(保留——让步到主立场的桥接)

Despite the urgency of these arguments, improving individuals' lives is still the ultimate goal of science. 保留说明:此句结构流畅、逻辑清晰——从让步回到主立场的地道桥接,保留不动。用户已掌握"让步 + 转折回归立场"的结构,这是题型3 "fully agree" 立场下处理反方观点的标准手法。

论点句(Topic Sentence — 题型3 Body 1 模板固化)

The first compelling reason is thatFirst and foremost, it is undeniable that 题型3 Body 1 论点句模板对齐 (与 2026-03-21 Saving Money 篇修改后的 "First and foremost, it is undeniable that saving money enables people to cope with..." 完全对齐——固化为题型3 Body 1 论点句的标准模板,替代原文措辞较平淡的 "The first compelling reason is that...";后续题型3 文章的 Body 1 论点句应一致使用此模板) science developmentscientific development 词汇提升 (学术英语中应用形容词 "scientific" 修饰名词 "development"——"science" 作定语不地道) playplays 语法纠正 (单数主语 "scientific development" 需要第三人称单数 plays) an important role in improvein improving 语法纠正 (介词 "in" 后必须接动名词 -ing 形式,不能接动词原形——这是反复出现的"介词后接动词形式错误",与 2026-04-22 Resource Consumption 篇 "to limited" 同类) humans'human 词汇 ("human" 作定语直接修饰 "physical well-being",不需要所有格撇号——"humans'" 泛指略不地道) physical well-being.

论据一:AI 检测癌症

For instance, with artificial intelligence tools that have been usedthanks to AI tools now widely used 词汇提升 (①"thanks to" 是表达"借助……"的地道介词短语,比 "with...that have been used" 更简洁;②"artificial intelligence tools" → "AI tools" 行文更紧凑(首段已交代 AI 全称);③加 "widely" 补充"使用广泛"的时代特征) in hospitals, doctors are now(删除) 词汇精简 (前面已用 "thanks to AI tools now widely used" 中的 now 表当下,此处再用 now 重复——删除使句子更紧凑) able to detect cancer and other terminal incurablelife-threatening 词汇提升 (①"terminal"(晚期的)与"incurable"(无法治愈的)语义冗余;②"life-threatening"(危及生命的)一词涵盖完整含义,更精准——是医疗话题学术标准词汇) diseases at an early stage, as well as the judgment result is even more accuratewith significantly higher diagnostic accuracy 语法纠正词汇提升 (①as well as 后只能接名词/短语,原文 "as well as the judgment result is..." 后接主谓完整从句构成语法断裂;②改为 "with + 名词短语" 作伴随状语;③"the judgment result is even more accurate" → "significantly higher diagnostic accuracy"——"diagnostic accuracy"(诊断准确率)是医疗话题学术标准搭配,significantly 比 "even more" 更学术).

论据二:AI 蛋白质结构预测

Moreover, scientistscientists 语法纠正 (泛指"科学家们"用复数——主语单复数错误) can use deep-learningdeep learning 语法纠正 (deep learning 作名词时无需连字符;只有作复合形容词修饰别的名词时才用连字符,如 "deep-learning-based method") as a method(删除) 词汇精简 (删除赘余的 "as a method"——直接用不定式 to train 表目的,句式更紧凑) to train a special AI robot. whospecialised AI models that 语法纠正词汇提升 (①"a special AI robot. who" 句点将定语从句切成句子碎片(fragment)——必须改用 that 引导限制性定语从句连接主句;②"robot"(机器人/机械臂)与蛋白质结构预测语境不符——"AI models"(AI 模型)更准确;③"special"(特殊的)不如 "specialised"(专业化的)切题;④复数 models 泛指"这类模型";⑤英式拼写 specialised 与全篇统一) can tirelessly carry out protein structure prediction, thereby uncovering morenew 词汇提升 (是"新的可能性",不是"更多的可能性"——"new" 比 "more" 更精准描述"开拓未知治疗方向") possibilities for treating complex diseases.

主体段二(Body Paragraph 2)— 科技提升生活便利

论点句(Topic Sentence — 题型3 Body 2 模板固化)

Another convincing reason for my perspective lies in the improvement ofSecondly, another compelling reason is that 题型3 Body 2 论点句模板对齐 + 双谓语粘连修复 (①与 2026-03-21 Saving Money 篇修改后的 "Secondly, another compelling reason is that the habit of saving money provides..." 完全对齐——固化为题型3 Body 2 论点句标准模板;②原句 "lies in the improvement of... also depends" 出现双谓语粘连(lies in 与 also depends 两个谓语并存)——主句谓语结构被破坏;③"convincing" → "compelling"——compelling 在学术语境更精准;④"for my perspective" 累赘删除;⑤"the improvement of" 名词化叠加冗余删除——直接用 that 引导宾语从句,主谓清晰) the convenience of life alsodaily life 语法纠正词汇提升 (①删除多余的 "also"——也是双谓语粘连的一部分;②"life" → "daily life"——daily life(日常生活)比 life 更具体切题,与本段后文 "people's entertainment and work" 的日常场景一致) depends greatly on scientific progress.

论据一:社交媒体 + 电商改变生活方式

To be more specific, in recent years, humans'people's 词汇提升 ("humans' entertainment" 所有格略显生硬→"people's" 更自然常见) entertainment and work have experienced a hugeundergone a dramatic 词汇提升 ("undergone"(经受)比"experienced"更学术化;"dramatic"(剧烈的)比"huge"更精准地描述"转变程度") shift from offline to online.
Thus, no one can liveAs a result, few people can imagine modern life 词汇提升 (①"Thus" 略显口语,"As a result" 在学术语境更地道;②"no one can live without" 过于绝对化(实际完全有人不用社交媒体)——"few people can imagine modern life without" 更有分寸;③加 "modern" 限定为现代生活语境,避免一概而论) without social media and the internet, such as people can. For instance, they 语法纠正拆句 (①原文 "such as + 完整主谓从句" 是典型中式英语错误——such as 后只能接名词/名词短语,不能接独立从句;②拆为两个独立句,用 "For instance" 引出具体例证;③主语 "they" 承接前句的 "people") use WeChat and WhatsappWhatsApp 语法纠正 (品牌名标准大小写——WhatsApp 中间的 A 大写) to chat with their friendfriends 语法纠正 (泛指"朋友们"用复数 friends——单复数错误) and use TaoBaoplatforms like Taobao 词汇提升语法纠正 (①"Taobao" 品牌名标准拼写——TaoBao 中间的 B 不应大写;②加 "platforms like" 引出,避免与前面 "use WeChat and WhatsApp" 重复 use 动词;③"like" 自然引出例证,比 "use ... to" 更紧凑) and Amazon to buy staffs without the restrict of distancepurchase goods regardless of distance 语法纠正词汇提升 (①"staffs"(员工们)不是"物品"——用户想表达的"物品"英文应为 "goods";②"buy" → "purchase" 在学术语境更正式;③"the restrict of distance" 中 "restrict" 是动词不能作名词(名词应为 restriction)——直接改为地道固定搭配 "regardless of distance"(无论距离远近)).

论据二:生成式 AI 重塑工作方式

Moreover, the generative AI also reshapegenerative AI is also reshaping 语法纠正 (①"the generative AI" 定冠词多余——作为抽象概念类别,不加定冠词;②"reshape" 主谓不一致(generative AI 为不可数单数概念)→"is reshaping";③现在进行时强调"正在发生的变革",比一般现在时更贴合语境) the way we write and work.
For example, ChatGPT can help us quickly produce an initial draft of a short film script, while Claude can help us rapidly build thea 语法纠正 (此处泛指"一个代码框架",应用不定冠词 a,非特指的 the) code framework for a complex data science model. This greatly improves our efficiency in both work and study.
保留说明:"For example, ChatGPT can help us..., while Claude can help us..." 使用 while 引导对比从句,形成了漂亮的平行句式;且两个例子都是用户个人真实使用的 AI 工具,具体性极强。"This greatly improves our efficiency in both work and study" 小结简洁有力。整体保留

结尾段(Conclusion)

总结改述句(让步部分 — 精准纠错:让步-转折结构错配修复)

In conclusion, even though science (缺少 also)also 词汇提升 (与下文 "I still strongly maintain" 形成"科学也(让步)做 X,但我仍然主张 Y"的让步对比;加 also 让让步段口吻自然,明确暗示"科学不仅服务于改善生活,也服务于其他目标") sersvesserves 语法纠正 (原文 "sersves" 拼写错误——s 与 v 顺序写反) as a greatpowerful 词汇提升 (powerful(强大的)在学术语境比 great(很棒的)更精准——great 略口语化,与议论文整体语气不符) tool to deal withaddress 词汇提升 (address(处理/应对)比 deal with(对付)更学术——address 是 IELTS 议论文处理"问题"类话题的标准动词) issues that are not directly relevant to people's lives, but also creating better ecosystems or even space explorationdaily lives, such as preserving ecosystems or exploring outer space 语法纠正词汇提升平行修复 (①"even though...but also..." 让步-转折错配——标准搭配是 "not only...but also..."(only 才与 but also 配对),删除 but also,保留 even though 作单一让步连词;②删除后用 "such as + 名词短语" 列举科学的非核心目标——这是题型3 结尾让步段的标准句式;③"creating better ecosystems or even space exploration" 平行结构断裂——前为动名词 creating,后为名词短语 space exploration——改为 "preserving ecosystems or exploring outer space" 两个动名词平行;④"creating ecosystems"(创造生态系统)语义不通——生态系统已存在,应是 "preserving"(保护);⑤"people's lives" → "people's daily lives"——加 daily 与 Body 2 论点句 "the convenience of daily life" 术语一致)

最终表态句(保留模板骨架,仅精准修复词汇与语法)

, I still strongly maintain the view that people's life qualityquality of life 词汇 ("quality of life" 是地道的固定搭配;"life quality" 是中式直译——与首段改写后的 "people's quality of life" 保持术语全文一致) and living conditions remain the primary and finallyultimate 语法纠正词汇 ("finally" 是副词(最终地),不能修饰名词 "aim";形容词应为 "ultimate"(最终的/终极的),与 "primary"(首要的)构成并列形容词修饰 aim) aim of developing sciencescientific development 词汇 (与 Body 1 论点句 "scientific development plays an important role" 保持全文术语一致;动名词短语 "developing science" 改为名词化短语 "scientific development" 更学术).
保留说明:"I still strongly maintain the view that..., remain the primary and ultimate aim of scientific development" 的整体框架与 2026-04-13 Robots 篇固化的 "I still maintain the view that..." 模板一脉相承。保留整体结构——只对内部三处词汇和语法做精准修复。这种"让步 + 主立场回归"的题型3 结尾模式可以作为用户的题型3 结尾模板固化下来:"In conclusion, even though [让步——承认另一面的合理性], I still strongly maintain the view that [主立场]."
内容与结构建议
  1. 题型3 首段与 Body 主题句模板已进一步固化:本篇与 2026-03-21 Saving Money 篇共同夯实了题型3 的三个核心模板:①首段三件套("It is often argued that... From my perspective, I fully agree with this statement, and the following essay will elaborate on the reasons for my view");②Body 1 论点句("First and foremost, it is undeniable that...");③Body 2 论点句("Secondly, another compelling reason is that...")。后续所有题型3 文章(无论话题是生活、科技、教育、工作)都应直接套用这三个模板,不再换措辞。
  2. 让步反驳段(Admittedly, opponents argue...)是本篇对模板的有益拓展:Saving Money 篇 Body 1 没有让步段,本篇在 Body 1 开头增加了让步反驳,使论证更全面。这是值得保留的写作升级——后续题型3 文章,若立场明确(fully agree / fully disagree),可在 Body 1 开头加一段 2-3 句的让步反驳,框架:"Admittedly, opponents argue that [反方担忧]. Despite the urgency of these arguments, [回归主立场]."
  3. 反复薄弱点:such as / as well as 后接完整从句:本篇出现 "as well as the judgment result is even more accurate"(Body 1)和 "such as people can use WeChat..."(Body 2)两处同类错误,和 2026-04-18 Uni-sexual School 篇的"Such as a boy who want..."属于同一类"连词后接完整从句"错误。考前专项记忆:such as / as well as 后只能接名词或名词短语;若要举例说明一个完整动作,改用 "For instance/For example, + 独立句子"。
  4. 反复薄弱点:句子碎片(fragment)由误用句点造成:"a special AI robot. who can carry out..." 与 2026-04-18 Uni-sexual School 篇的 "Such as a boy who want..." 同属一类。规则记忆:关系代词(who/which/that)引导的从句不能独立成句,句点前的部分必须是完整主谓结构;要连接定语从句,用逗号不是句点。
  5. 话题词库积累(科技 × 医疗 × 日常生活):本篇贡献了一组科技话题高频词:AI tools / deep learning / specialised AI models / protein structure prediction / diagnostic accuracy / generative AI / social media / e-commerce platforms / code framework / scientific development / preserving ecosystems / exploring outer space。建议作为"科技话题标准词汇包"固化背诵。
  6. 英式/美式拼写统一:本篇修改后统一使用英式拼写("specialised"),与 2026-04-22 Resource Consumption 篇(organisations / practise)保持一致。后续写作继续统一英式。

修改统计

14
语法纠正
11
词汇提升
6
句子提升
6
内容建议

With the boom of AI and tech startups, significant attention has been drawn to the role of science in public life. It is often argued that the primary purpose of science is to improve people's quality of life and overall well-being. From my perspective, I fully agree with this statement, and the following essay will elaborate on the reasons for my view.

62 words

Admittedly, opponents argue that, given the increasing environmental problems such as global warming and water contamination, scientists shoulder a huge responsibility to find effective ways to address these issues rather than focus on enhancing the everyday happiness of individuals. Despite the urgency of these arguments, improving individuals' lives is still the ultimate goal of science. First and foremost, it is undeniable that scientific development plays an important role in improving human physical well-being. For instance, thanks to AI tools now widely used in hospitals, doctors are able to detect cancer and other life-threatening diseases at an early stage, with significantly higher diagnostic accuracy. Moreover, scientists can use deep learning to train specialised AI models that can tirelessly carry out protein structure prediction, thereby uncovering new possibilities for treating complex diseases.

130 words

Secondly, another compelling reason is that the convenience of daily life depends greatly on scientific progress. To be more specific, in recent years, people's entertainment and work have undergone a dramatic shift from offline to online. As a result, few people can imagine modern life without social media and the internet. For instance, they use WeChat and WhatsApp to chat with their friends and platforms like Taobao and Amazon to purchase goods regardless of distance. Moreover, generative AI is also reshaping the way we write and work. For example, ChatGPT can help us quickly produce an initial draft of a short film script, while Claude can help us rapidly build a code framework for a complex data science model. This greatly improves our efficiency in both work and study.

129 words

In conclusion, even though science also serves as a powerful tool to address issues that are not directly relevant to people's daily lives, such as preserving ecosystems or exploring outer space, I still strongly maintain the view that people's quality of life and living conditions remain the primary and ultimate aim of scientific development.

54 words
Total: 约 375 words