评分对比
| 评分维度 | 修改前 | 修改后 | 变化 | 说明 |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Task Response | 5.5 | 6.5 | +1.0 | 立场、论点、论据全部保留;让步段"rather than focus on enhancing..."的平行结构修复使反方观点更清晰;Body 1 论据 2 修复句子碎片后,"蛋白质结构预测"论据完整呈现 |
| Coherence & Cohesion | 5.5 | 6.5 | +1.0 | Body 1 论据 1 结尾 "with significantly higher diagnostic accuracy"、Body 2 "As a result... For instance..." 独立拆句,修复两处关键衔接故障;形成 10 层逻辑推进 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 | 6.5 | +1.5 | 话题词升级(life-threatening diseases / diagnostic accuracy / specialised AI models / preserving ecosystems / scientific development);中式直译修复(human beings' living quality → people's quality of life) |
| Grammatical Range & Accuracy | 4.5 | 7.0 | +2.5 | 消除主谓不一致 3 处、介词后接原形 1 处、句子碎片 1 处、such as/as well as 误接从句 2 处、让步-转折错配 1 处、冠词与所有格 2 处、拼写 2 处合计 12 处 |
| Overall | 5.0 | 6.5 | +1.5 |
With the boom of AI and tech start up, sweeping changes and significant attention have been drawn to the aim of science advancement in public life. It is often argued that the primary purpose of science is to improve human beings' living quality and overall well-being. From my perspective, I totally agree with this statement, and the following paragraph will elaborate on the reasons for my view.
67 wordsAdmittedly, opponents argue that because of the increasing problems in environment, such as global warming and water contamination, scientist shoulder huge responsibilities which need them to find effective ways to address all of these issues rather than the current sense of happiness in people's lives. Despite the urgency of these arguments, improving individuals' lives is still the ultimate goal of science. The first compelling reason is that science development play an important role in improve humans' physical well-being. For instance, with artificial intelligence tools that have been used in hospitals, doctors are now able to detect cancer and other terminal incurable diseases at an early stage, as well as the judgment result is even more accurate. Moreover, scientist can use deep-learning as a method to train a special AI robot. who can tirelessly carry out protein structure prediction, thereby uncovering more possibilities for treating complex diseases.
146 wordsAnother convincing reason for my perspective lies in the improvement of the convenience of life also depends greatly on scientific progress. To be more specific, in recent years, humans' entertainment and work have experienced a huge shift from offline to online. Thus, no one can live without social media and the internet, such as people can use WeChat and Whatsapp to chat with their friend and use TaoBao and Amazon to buy staffs without the restrict of distance. Moreover, the generative AI also reshape the way we write and work. For example, ChatGPT can help us quickly produce an initial draft of a short film script, while Claude can help us rapidly build the code framework for a complex data science model. This greatly improves our efficiency in both work and study.
132 wordsIn conclusion, even though science sersves as a great tool to deal with issues that are not directly relevant to people's lives, but also creating better ecosystems or even space exploration, I still strongly maintain the view that people's life quality and living conditions remain the primary and finally aim of developing science.
53 words开头段(Introduction)
背景引入句
现象陈述句(题型3 首段模板——保留并继续沿用)
立场/观点表态句(题型3 模板——保留并继续沿用)
主体段一(Body Paragraph 1)— 让步反驳 + 科学提升人类身体健康
让步引入句
让步转折句(保留——让步到主立场的桥接)
论点句(Topic Sentence — 题型3 Body 1 模板固化)
论据一:AI 检测癌症
论据二:AI 蛋白质结构预测
主体段二(Body Paragraph 2)— 科技提升生活便利
论点句(Topic Sentence — 题型3 Body 2 模板固化)
论据一:社交媒体 + 电商改变生活方式
论据二:生成式 AI 重塑工作方式
结尾段(Conclusion)
总结改述句(让步部分 — 精准纠错:让步-转折结构错配修复)
最终表态句(保留模板骨架,仅精准修复词汇与语法)
- 题型3 首段与 Body 主题句模板已进一步固化:本篇与 2026-03-21 Saving Money 篇共同夯实了题型3 的三个核心模板:①首段三件套("It is often argued that... From my perspective, I fully agree with this statement, and the following essay will elaborate on the reasons for my view");②Body 1 论点句("First and foremost, it is undeniable that...");③Body 2 论点句("Secondly, another compelling reason is that...")。后续所有题型3 文章(无论话题是生活、科技、教育、工作)都应直接套用这三个模板,不再换措辞。
- 让步反驳段(Admittedly, opponents argue...)是本篇对模板的有益拓展:Saving Money 篇 Body 1 没有让步段,本篇在 Body 1 开头增加了让步反驳,使论证更全面。这是值得保留的写作升级——后续题型3 文章,若立场明确(fully agree / fully disagree),可在 Body 1 开头加一段 2-3 句的让步反驳,框架:"Admittedly, opponents argue that [反方担忧]. Despite the urgency of these arguments, [回归主立场]."
- 反复薄弱点:such as / as well as 后接完整从句:本篇出现 "as well as the judgment result is even more accurate"(Body 1)和 "such as people can use WeChat..."(Body 2)两处同类错误,和 2026-04-18 Uni-sexual School 篇的"Such as a boy who want..."属于同一类"连词后接完整从句"错误。考前专项记忆:such as / as well as 后只能接名词或名词短语;若要举例说明一个完整动作,改用 "For instance/For example, + 独立句子"。
- 反复薄弱点:句子碎片(fragment)由误用句点造成:"a special AI robot. who can carry out..." 与 2026-04-18 Uni-sexual School 篇的 "Such as a boy who want..." 同属一类。规则记忆:关系代词(who/which/that)引导的从句不能独立成句,句点前的部分必须是完整主谓结构;要连接定语从句,用逗号不是句点。
- 话题词库积累(科技 × 医疗 × 日常生活):本篇贡献了一组科技话题高频词:AI tools / deep learning / specialised AI models / protein structure prediction / diagnostic accuracy / generative AI / social media / e-commerce platforms / code framework / scientific development / preserving ecosystems / exploring outer space。建议作为"科技话题标准词汇包"固化背诵。
- 英式/美式拼写统一:本篇修改后统一使用英式拼写("specialised"),与 2026-04-22 Resource Consumption 篇(organisations / practise)保持一致。后续写作继续统一英式。
修改统计
With the boom of AI and tech startups, significant attention has been drawn to the role of science in public life. It is often argued that the primary purpose of science is to improve people's quality of life and overall well-being. From my perspective, I fully agree with this statement, and the following essay will elaborate on the reasons for my view.
62 wordsAdmittedly, opponents argue that, given the increasing environmental problems such as global warming and water contamination, scientists shoulder a huge responsibility to find effective ways to address these issues rather than focus on enhancing the everyday happiness of individuals. Despite the urgency of these arguments, improving individuals' lives is still the ultimate goal of science. First and foremost, it is undeniable that scientific development plays an important role in improving human physical well-being. For instance, thanks to AI tools now widely used in hospitals, doctors are able to detect cancer and other life-threatening diseases at an early stage, with significantly higher diagnostic accuracy. Moreover, scientists can use deep learning to train specialised AI models that can tirelessly carry out protein structure prediction, thereby uncovering new possibilities for treating complex diseases.
130 wordsSecondly, another compelling reason is that the convenience of daily life depends greatly on scientific progress. To be more specific, in recent years, people's entertainment and work have undergone a dramatic shift from offline to online. As a result, few people can imagine modern life without social media and the internet. For instance, they use WeChat and WhatsApp to chat with their friends and platforms like Taobao and Amazon to purchase goods regardless of distance. Moreover, generative AI is also reshaping the way we write and work. For example, ChatGPT can help us quickly produce an initial draft of a short film script, while Claude can help us rapidly build a code framework for a complex data science model. This greatly improves our efficiency in both work and study.
129 wordsIn conclusion, even though science also serves as a powerful tool to address issues that are not directly relevant to people's daily lives, such as preserving ecosystems or exploring outer space, I still strongly maintain the view that people's quality of life and living conditions remain the primary and ultimate aim of scientific development.
54 words