评分对比
| 评分维度 | 修改前 | 修改后 | 变化 | 说明 |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Task Response | 5.0 | 6.5 | +1.5 | 双边讨论清晰、立场贯穿全文;论证链条完整 |
| Coherence & Cohesion | 5.0 | 6.5 | +1.5 | 新增 let alone / In contrast 等高级衔接;段内逻辑自然 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.0 | 6.5 | +2.5 | 8处拼写错误全部修正;精准表达(opponents, repetitive work, AI agent, maintain the view) |
| Grammatical Range & Accuracy | 4.0 | 6.5 | +2.5 | 主谓一致、所有格、词性混用 15+ 处错误全部修正;句式多样化 |
| Overall | 4.5 | 6.5 | +2.0 |
People have different views about how robots affect our daily life. Some people argure that robots are dangerous technologies which may bring some potential problems to society. While others believe that robots are considerable vital and useful for individual's future development. This eassay will discuss both views and give my opinion that robots are crucial for people and society's development.
59 wordsOn the one hand, supporters of robots may bring harmful would argure that robots may reslult in the more and more lazzy that people will become. They believe that robots can help people do almost everything which will make humans lack of their creativity, eventrually controled by robots. I think this perspective are undoubtedly reasonable. However, this argument overlooks the robots's capability. In reality, study shows that robots can only answer and do specific tasks, which means it can not work without humans prompts, more impossible to take place of humans and their creativity. Moreover, scientists also emphasize that the upgrade of robots and artificial intelligence must relay on humans knowledge, which means the more knowledgeable the user are, the more intelligence and useful the robots and AI will be.
129 wordsOn the other hand, no one can deny that robots could help humans to do repeated work very well, as well as it can also firmly remember plenty of complex things. For example, we can buy an entitative robots which looks like a real person to help us cleaning our room and take out the trash. Furthermore, we can also download an AI Agent robot, which living in our laptop, assisting us to orgnize our files and help us find key knowledge that hide in a long artical. It is just like a co-worker who will never be tried. Whereas the people who still find things or write some repeated task such as paraphrasing articals by themselfs, will greatly slow down his self-development.
123 wordsIn conclusion, although inventions of robots faces many challenges and may bring some potential dangerous. In my opinion, I still sustain the point that the benefits of using robots outweigh the drawbacks.
32 words开头段(Introduction)
背景引入句
立场/观点表态句
主体段一(Body Paragraph 1)— 反方观点及反驳:机器人可能使人懒惰但此观点忽视机器人真实能力
论点句(Topic Sentence)
论点阐述(Supporting Sentences)
主体段二(Body Paragraph 2)— 正方观点:机器人帮助处理重复性工作和记忆复杂信息
论点句(Topic Sentence)
论点阐述(Supporting Sentences)
结尾段(Conclusion)
总结改述句
最终表态句
- 反方论证的反驳部分过长:主体段一用了大量篇幅反驳反方观点,超过了正方论证的篇幅。双边讨论题建议两方篇幅均衡,让反方段保持"陈述反方+简短回应",正方段再充分展开。
- 开头段立场亮相可更明确:可进一步明确"while acknowledging the risks"之类的让步,使立场更具层次感。
- 例证可更具体:主体段二的例证方向正确,但缺乏具体数据或研究支撑。练习时可加入如"According to a MIT study..."或具体公司/产品名称。
- 段落过渡词可更丰富:建议段内过渡引入 Nevertheless, That being said, More importantly 等,提升 CC 维度上限。
- 避免拼写错误的策略:本文出现 8 处拼写错误,建议写完后逐词通读检查,重点关注双写辅音(-ll, -rr)、-ly/-lly、-tion 等常见易错点。
修改统计
People hold different views about how robots affect our daily life. Some argue that robots are dangerous technologies which may bring potential problems to society, while others believe that robots are considerably vital and useful for humans' future development. This essay will discuss both perspectives and present my opinion that robots are crucial for the development of individuals and society.
58 wordsOn the one hand, opponents of robots would argue that these machines may result in people becoming increasingly lazy. They believe that robots can help humans do almost everything, which will cause people to lose their creativity and eventually be controlled by machines. This perspective is undoubtedly reasonable to some extent. However, this argument overlooks the actual capabilities of robots. In reality, studies show that robots can only perform specific tasks, which means they cannot function without human prompts, let alone replace human creativity. Moreover, scientists also emphasize that the upgrade of robots and artificial intelligence must rely on human knowledge, which means the more knowledgeable users are, the more intelligent and useful robots and AI will become.
117 wordsOn the other hand, no one can deny that robots can help humans complete repetitive work efficiently, and they are also capable of memorizing a vast amount of complex information. For example, people can purchase a physical robot that resembles a real person to help clean the room and take out the trash. Furthermore, individuals can also download an AI agent that lives on their laptop, assisting them to organize files and extract key knowledge hidden in a lengthy article. It is just like a co-worker who never gets tired. In contrast, those who still handle such repetitive tasks themselves, such as paraphrasing articles manually, will significantly slow down their self-development.
110 wordsIn conclusion, although the invention of robots faces many challenges and may bring some potential dangers, I still maintain the view that the benefits of using robots outweigh the drawbacks.
30 words