Some people think that robots are very important for humans' future development. Others, however, think that robots are dangerous inventions that could have negative effects on society. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

评分对比

修改前
4.5
修改后
6.5
提升 +2.0
评分维度修改前修改后变化说明
Task Response5.06.5+1.5双边讨论清晰、立场贯穿全文;论证链条完整
Coherence & Cohesion5.06.5+1.5新增 let alone / In contrast 等高级衔接;段内逻辑自然
Lexical Resource4.06.5+2.58处拼写错误全部修正;精准表达(opponents, repetitive work, AI agent, maintain the view)
Grammatical Range & Accuracy4.06.5+2.5主谓一致、所有格、词性混用 15+ 处错误全部修正;句式多样化
Overall4.56.5+2.0
Some people think that robots are very important for humans' future development. Others, however, think that robots are dangerous inventions that could have negative effects on society. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

People have different views about how robots affect our daily life. Some people argure that robots are dangerous technologies which may bring some potential problems to society. While others believe that robots are considerable vital and useful for individual's future development. This eassay will discuss both views and give my opinion that robots are crucial for people and society's development.

59 words

On the one hand, supporters of robots may bring harmful would argure that robots may reslult in the more and more lazzy that people will become. They believe that robots can help people do almost everything which will make humans lack of their creativity, eventrually controled by robots. I think this perspective are undoubtedly reasonable. However, this argument overlooks the robots's capability. In reality, study shows that robots can only answer and do specific tasks, which means it can not work without humans prompts, more impossible to take place of humans and their creativity. Moreover, scientists also emphasize that the upgrade of robots and artificial intelligence must relay on humans knowledge, which means the more knowledgeable the user are, the more intelligence and useful the robots and AI will be.

129 words

On the other hand, no one can deny that robots could help humans to do repeated work very well, as well as it can also firmly remember plenty of complex things. For example, we can buy an entitative robots which looks like a real person to help us cleaning our room and take out the trash. Furthermore, we can also download an AI Agent robot, which living in our laptop, assisting us to orgnize our files and help us find key knowledge that hide in a long artical. It is just like a co-worker who will never be tried. Whereas the people who still find things or write some repeated task such as paraphrasing articals by themselfs, will greatly slow down his self-development.

123 words

In conclusion, although inventions of robots faces many challenges and may bring some potential dangerous. In my opinion, I still sustain the point that the benefits of using robots outweigh the drawbacks.

32 words
Total: 约 309 words

开头段(Introduction)

背景引入句

People have different viewsPeople hold different views 词汇提升 ("hold views"比"have views"更地道,是学术写作的固定搭配) about how robots affect our daily life. Some people argureargue 语法纠正 (拼写错误) that robots are dangerous technologies which may bring some potential problems to society. While others, while others 语法纠正词汇提升 (While 引导的对比从句不应独立成句,应与前句用逗号连接;删除"some"使表达更有力) believe that robots are considerable vitalconsiderably vital 语法纠正 (形容词 vital 前应使用副词 considerably 修饰,非形容词 considerable) and useful for individual'shumans' 语法纠正词汇提升 ("individual's"指代模糊;题目原文即用"humans",保持一致) future development.

立场/观点表态句

This eassay will discuss both views and give my opinion that robots are crucial for people and society's development.This essay will discuss both perspectives and present my opinion that robots are crucial for the development of individuals and society. 句子提升 (①"eassay"拼写错误;②"views"→"perspectives"避免与开头重复;③"give my opinion"→"present my opinion"更正式;④"people and society's development"所有格结构混乱→重组为"the development of individuals and society")

主体段一(Body Paragraph 1)— 反方观点及反驳:机器人可能使人懒惰但此观点忽视机器人真实能力

论点句(Topic Sentence)

On the one hand, supporters of robots may bring harmful would argureopponents of robots would argue 句子提升 (原句结构完全崩塌——"supporters of robots may bring harmful"与"would argure"无法连贯;且"supporters"(支持者)与后文反对观点自相矛盾,应为"opponents"(反对者);"argure"拼写错误) that robotsthese machines 词汇提升 (避免与前一句"robots"重复) may reslult in the more and more lazzy that people will becomeresult in people becoming increasingly lazy 语法纠正词汇提升 (①"reslult"拼写错误;②"lazzy"拼写错误;③"the more and more lazzy that..."结构完全错误,无法理解→重写为"result in sb. doing sth."的标准结构).

论点阐述(Supporting Sentences)

They believe that robots can help peoplehumans 词汇提升 (本段已多次使用 people,替换为 humans 使词汇多样化且与题目用词一致) do almost everything which will make humans lack of their creativity, eventrually controled by robots, which will cause people to lose their creativity and eventually be controlled by machines 语法纠正词汇提升 (①"lack of"错误搭配——lack 作动词不带 of→改为"lose";②"eventrually"拼写错误;③"controled"拼写错误;④两个分句断裂→改为并列"cause...to lose...and eventually be controlled by..."清晰顺畅).
I think this perspective are undoubtedly reasonable.This perspective is undoubtedly reasonable to some extent. 语法纠正词汇提升 (①"this perspective are"主谓不一致→"is";②学术写作避免"I think"主观表达→删除;③添加"to some extent"使让步更有分寸,体现批判性思维)
However, this argument overlooks the robots's capabilityactual capabilities of robots 语法纠正词汇提升 (①"robots's"所有格形式错误——复数所有格应为"robots'";②"capability"建议用复数"capabilities"表示多方面能力;③添加"actual"强调现实情况;④重组为"of"结构更清晰).
In reality, study showsstudies show 语法纠正 (泛指"研究"应用复数"studies") that robots can only answer and do specific tasksperform specific tasks 词汇提升 ("answer and do"搭配不地道→"perform"是完成任务的地道动词), which means it can not work without humans prompts, more impossible to take place of humans and their creativitythey cannot function without human prompts, let alone replace human creativity 语法纠正句子提升 (①"it"指代应为复数"they";②"humans prompts"所有格缺失→形容词形式"human prompts";③"more impossible"错误(impossible 无比较级)+"take place of"错误→彻底重组为"let alone replace"更精准;④"humans and their creativity"冗余→"human creativity").
Moreover, scientists also emphasize that the upgrade of robots and artificial intelligence must relay on humans knowledgerely on human knowledge 语法纠正 (①"relay on"拼写错误→"rely on";②"humans knowledge"所有格缺失→作定语的"human knowledge"), which means the more knowledgeable the user areusers are 语法纠正 (主谓不一致——"user"单数与"are"不搭配→"users are"), the more intelligenceintelligent 语法纠正 (词性错误——"intelligence"是名词,此处需形容词"intelligent"与"useful"并列) and useful the robots and AI will berobots and AI will become 词汇提升 (①删除"the"使表达更泛指;②"will be"→"will become"表变化过程更生动).

主体段二(Body Paragraph 2)— 正方观点:机器人帮助处理重复性工作和记忆复杂信息

论点句(Topic Sentence)

On the other hand, no one can deny that robots couldcan 语法纠正 (此处陈述客观事实能力,应用一般现在时"can"而非条件语气"could") help humans to do repeated work very wellcomplete repetitive work efficiently 语法纠正词汇提升 (①删除多余的"to"(help 后可直接接动词原形);②"do...very well"口语化→"complete...efficiently"更正式;③"repeated work"不地道→"repetitive work"是标准表达), as well as it can also firmly remember plenty of complex thingsand they are also capable of memorizing a vast amount of complex information 句子提升 (①"as well as it can also"冗余→改为简单的"and"并列;②"firmly remember"搭配不自然→"memorizing"更精准;③"plenty of complex things"→"a vast amount of complex information"更学术).

论点阐述(Supporting Sentences)

For example, we can buy an entitative robots which looks like a real personpeople can purchase a physical robot that resembles a real person 语法纠正词汇提升 (①学术写作避免第一人称"we"→"people";②"buy"→"purchase"更正式;③"entitative"不是标准英语词汇→"physical"表示实体;④"an...robots"冠词与复数不匹配→"a physical robot"单数;⑤"which"指物限制性从句建议用"that";⑥"looks like"→"resembles"更高级) to help us cleaning our roomclean the room 语法纠正词汇提升 (①"help us"结构下"cleaning"应为原形"clean";②学术写作避免"us/our"→用"the"替代) and take out the trash.
Furthermore, weindividuals 词汇提升 (避免第一人称,与上文"people"错开词汇避免重复) can also download an AI Agent robot, which living in our laptop, assisting us to orgnize our files and help us find key knowledge that hide in a long articalagent that lives on their laptop, assisting them to organize files and extract key knowledge hidden in a lengthy article 语法纠正句子提升 (①"Agent"不需要大写;②"robot"冗余——AI agent 即软件型机器人→删除;③"which living"语法错误→改为"that lives";④"in our laptop"→"on their laptop"介词修正;⑤"orgnize"拼写错误;⑥并列结构不一致→统一为"assisting them to organize...and extract...";⑦"hide in"动词原形错误→分词"hidden in";⑧"artical"拼写错误;⑨"long"→"lengthy"词汇提升).
It is just like a co-worker who will never be triednever gets tired 语法纠正词汇提升 (①"tried"拼写错误——应为"tired"(疲倦)而非"tried"(尝试);②描述一般特性应用现在时"never gets tired";③"be tired"→"gets tired"更地道).
Whereas the people who still find things or write some repeated task such as paraphrasing articals by themselfs, will greatly slow down his self-development.In contrast, those who still handle such repetitive tasks themselves, such as paraphrasing articles manually, will significantly slow down their self-development. 句子提升 (①"Whereas"用作独立句首不地道→"In contrast"更标准;②"the people who..."→"those who..."更学术;③原句含义不清且数不一致→简化为"handle such repetitive tasks";④"articals"拼写错误;⑤"themselfs"拼写错误;⑥"his self-development"单复数不一致→"their self-development";⑦"greatly"→"significantly"更学术;⑧添加"manually"使对比更鲜明)

结尾段(Conclusion)

总结改述句

In conclusion, although inventions of robots facesthe invention of robots faces 语法纠正 (①主谓不一致——"inventions"(复数)与"faces"不匹配→改为单数"the invention";②添加定冠词"the"特指) many challenges and may bring some potential dangerousdangers 语法纠正 (词性错误——"dangerous"是形容词,此处作"bring"的宾语需名词"dangers")., 语法纠正 (although 让步从句与主句之间应用逗号而非句号分隔)

最终表态句

In my opinion, I still sustain the point thatI still maintain the view that 句子提升词汇提升 (①"In my opinion, I"冗余——两者都是表达个人观点→删除"In my opinion";②"sustain the point"搭配错误——"sustain"多指"维持/支撑"→"maintain the view"是"坚持观点"的地道搭配;③"the point"→"the view"在表达观点时更准确) the benefits of using robots outweigh the drawbacks.
内容与结构建议
  1. 反方论证的反驳部分过长:主体段一用了大量篇幅反驳反方观点,超过了正方论证的篇幅。双边讨论题建议两方篇幅均衡,让反方段保持"陈述反方+简短回应",正方段再充分展开。
  2. 开头段立场亮相可更明确:可进一步明确"while acknowledging the risks"之类的让步,使立场更具层次感。
  3. 例证可更具体:主体段二的例证方向正确,但缺乏具体数据或研究支撑。练习时可加入如"According to a MIT study..."或具体公司/产品名称。
  4. 段落过渡词可更丰富:建议段内过渡引入 Nevertheless, That being said, More importantly 等,提升 CC 维度上限。
  5. 避免拼写错误的策略:本文出现 8 处拼写错误,建议写完后逐词通读检查,重点关注双写辅音(-ll, -rr)、-ly/-lly、-tion 等常见易错点。

修改统计

22
语法纠正
15
词汇提升
3
句子提升
5
内容建议

People hold different views about how robots affect our daily life. Some argue that robots are dangerous technologies which may bring potential problems to society, while others believe that robots are considerably vital and useful for humans' future development. This essay will discuss both perspectives and present my opinion that robots are crucial for the development of individuals and society.

58 words

On the one hand, opponents of robots would argue that these machines may result in people becoming increasingly lazy. They believe that robots can help humans do almost everything, which will cause people to lose their creativity and eventually be controlled by machines. This perspective is undoubtedly reasonable to some extent. However, this argument overlooks the actual capabilities of robots. In reality, studies show that robots can only perform specific tasks, which means they cannot function without human prompts, let alone replace human creativity. Moreover, scientists also emphasize that the upgrade of robots and artificial intelligence must rely on human knowledge, which means the more knowledgeable users are, the more intelligent and useful robots and AI will become.

117 words

On the other hand, no one can deny that robots can help humans complete repetitive work efficiently, and they are also capable of memorizing a vast amount of complex information. For example, people can purchase a physical robot that resembles a real person to help clean the room and take out the trash. Furthermore, individuals can also download an AI agent that lives on their laptop, assisting them to organize files and extract key knowledge hidden in a lengthy article. It is just like a co-worker who never gets tired. In contrast, those who still handle such repetitive tasks themselves, such as paraphrasing articles manually, will significantly slow down their self-development.

110 words

In conclusion, although the invention of robots faces many challenges and may bring some potential dangers, I still maintain the view that the benefits of using robots outweigh the drawbacks.

30 words
Total: 约 318 words